I've been on a hiatus. The kind where you have a baby, try to plan a wedding, graduate college, move to a new house, oldest doesn't sleep and about to start kindergarten. I think next on my agenda is a full scale mental breakdown.
Why? Because over the years I've watched the few friends I have leave. Others, they started a life and chose other friends. Some never lived here and with the job, wedding, baby, finances... We are restricted in traveling. Another good reason for a breakdown.
My family is awesome in their own way. Completely dysfunctional, and caring. All of whom love me, and my family. However, each are as busy and as self-consumed as the rest.
As for me; yeah, I'm busy and self consumed too. Maybe I've gone so long being too flaky. Now that I'm in need of a friend, I find that the sounds of crickets and babies screaming will be my only comfort.
So what does a person do? Pray/meditate? Drink? Prescriptions? Bang my head against a wall until that pain is more than the emptiness of my heart and louder than the constant screams of my family?
I guess the upside is I didn't start smoking. I'm working on a new custody agreement for my oldest. We are feed (me perhaps too much causing only that much more anguish and self-loathing). I love my family, mostly the little ones I made.